We are currently in the middle of our second winter storm of the season. We endured 5 inches of snow the day after Christmas, and now we are in the middle of another 5 inches, plus freezing rain. As a matter of fact, we just endured the coldest December on record here in Eastern NC.
I enjoy winter more than summer, because our winters here are usually mild, and I prefer to be a little cold than to be hot, but I must say that I've about had it with this winter!
Now, if you will excuse me, I'm going outside to play in the snow with my son!
Monday, January 10, 2011
Saturday, October 23, 2010
I'm jealous
Two months ago, I got my first smartphone, a Motorola Droid. If you sit back and think for a minute, it is a marvel of modern technology. Here, inside a small glass, plastic, and metal case not even one inch thick, is a computer that has more computing power than the entire Mercury, Gemini, and Apollo space missions. It has more computing power than the start of the shuttle missions.
Inside this wondrous little brick is a processor that can run the computer and provide clear, vivid video on the full-color screen. It has a GPS system in it. It can connect to 3G or wireless Internet. It has a compass built in. You can download applications that pretty much provide unlimited uses for it. It has a camera that can take pictures every bit as good as a 35mm camera.
I think back to 22 years ago, when I graduated from high school. Cell phones were huge monstrosities. A home computer was a luxury, with a large computer tower and a monitor that provides the colors of black and green. VHS tapes were the way to go, and CD's had only been popular for a few years.
Then there was college. My roommate brought in an IBM computer with a whopping 32kb of memory, and we will dial into Prodigy at a speedy baud rate of something like 4k! My first personal computer was bought in 1999, and it had a 3.2gig hard drive, 32mb of RAM, and a 300khz processor, at a cost of over $700. I'm working on a cheap laptop right now, paid less than $400 for it, and it 100 times the memory and 50 times the storage space, along with a processor that leaves that original one in the dust.
My first cellular phone was obtained in 1997. It was literally the size of a brick, with an antenna that you had to pull out before use, and my contract gave me a huge!! huge!! sixty minutes of free airtime a month.
Around this time, the DVD began to surface. I purchased my first DVD player in 2000, and it was a huge machine with limited functions, and I can remember the huge jump in picture clarity and sound. I paid a sizeable chunk of change for it, too. Today, you can buy a DVD player only 1/8 the size of that first one, and pay a simple 20 to 30 bucks for it.
I remember Atari, the old 2600 that my parents got me in 1981. Games on it look so cheesy today! We had Pong before that!
In 1996, I bought a 32" stereo television, a huge monstrosity that basically takes two people to move. 12 years later, I bought my first LCD TV, and the differences are incredible.
I'm not at the forefront of getting all of the newest gadgets, but I can sit in my living room, typing on my wireless keyboard (as I am doing right now), surf the Internet or do research, print wirelessly to the printer on the other side of the house, while watching TV on my LCD TV that is receiving a signal froma satellite system. If I get up, I can connect to the world via my laptop computer, or my Dell pocket PC, or my Droid. I can go outside to work in the yard and can carry my entire music collection on my small Sansa music player. I can get in my car and explore the world without ever getting lost.
What am I getting at? I think back over the last thirty years of my life (I'm 40), and the technology - the things that are out there that have become such a regular part of life - have changed so much! My son turns 10 next week. What will technology be like thirty years from now when he is 40?
There are exciting times ahead for him, and I'm jealous over the stuff we know nothing about now, but will be a part of his life then.
Inside this wondrous little brick is a processor that can run the computer and provide clear, vivid video on the full-color screen. It has a GPS system in it. It can connect to 3G or wireless Internet. It has a compass built in. You can download applications that pretty much provide unlimited uses for it. It has a camera that can take pictures every bit as good as a 35mm camera.
I think back to 22 years ago, when I graduated from high school. Cell phones were huge monstrosities. A home computer was a luxury, with a large computer tower and a monitor that provides the colors of black and green. VHS tapes were the way to go, and CD's had only been popular for a few years.
Then there was college. My roommate brought in an IBM computer with a whopping 32kb of memory, and we will dial into Prodigy at a speedy baud rate of something like 4k! My first personal computer was bought in 1999, and it had a 3.2gig hard drive, 32mb of RAM, and a 300khz processor, at a cost of over $700. I'm working on a cheap laptop right now, paid less than $400 for it, and it 100 times the memory and 50 times the storage space, along with a processor that leaves that original one in the dust.
My first cellular phone was obtained in 1997. It was literally the size of a brick, with an antenna that you had to pull out before use, and my contract gave me a huge!! huge!! sixty minutes of free airtime a month.
Around this time, the DVD began to surface. I purchased my first DVD player in 2000, and it was a huge machine with limited functions, and I can remember the huge jump in picture clarity and sound. I paid a sizeable chunk of change for it, too. Today, you can buy a DVD player only 1/8 the size of that first one, and pay a simple 20 to 30 bucks for it.
I remember Atari, the old 2600 that my parents got me in 1981. Games on it look so cheesy today! We had Pong before that!
In 1996, I bought a 32" stereo television, a huge monstrosity that basically takes two people to move. 12 years later, I bought my first LCD TV, and the differences are incredible.
I'm not at the forefront of getting all of the newest gadgets, but I can sit in my living room, typing on my wireless keyboard (as I am doing right now), surf the Internet or do research, print wirelessly to the printer on the other side of the house, while watching TV on my LCD TV that is receiving a signal froma satellite system. If I get up, I can connect to the world via my laptop computer, or my Dell pocket PC, or my Droid. I can go outside to work in the yard and can carry my entire music collection on my small Sansa music player. I can get in my car and explore the world without ever getting lost.
What am I getting at? I think back over the last thirty years of my life (I'm 40), and the technology - the things that are out there that have become such a regular part of life - have changed so much! My son turns 10 next week. What will technology be like thirty years from now when he is 40?
There are exciting times ahead for him, and I'm jealous over the stuff we know nothing about now, but will be a part of his life then.
Saturday, July 03, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
It has been an absolutely hot spring. Wait, let me take that back. We didn't have a spring. It has just been hot. Period. Pretty much the entire month of June here in eastern North Carolina has been nothing but 90 degrees or more every day. To make things worse, we haven't been getting much rain, which isn't doing much for the garden, fruit trees, or grass.
Also, my electric bill is killing me.
Also, my electric bill is killing me.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Wow, I didn't realize it had been so long since my last post. I guess I've become a Facebook junkie, and really haven't been much on keeping up with Blogger.
I've had a horrible couple of weeks at work. There has just been so much crap going on.
I need to start doing more posts. Maybe I'll get the motivation to do some this week...hopefully.
I've had a horrible couple of weeks at work. There has just been so much crap going on.
I need to start doing more posts. Maybe I'll get the motivation to do some this week...hopefully.
Saturday, March 06, 2010
27 years old: the Chinook from the Falklands STILL serving in Helmand
By Peter Almond
Last updated at 9:58 PM on 18th July 2009
It is an RAF legend - children scramble around a copy of it at the RAF Museum in Hendon, and Baroness Thatcher has been photographed with it.
But Bravo November, a remarkable Chinook helicopter which first saw service in the Falklands, is still going strong on the battlefields of Afghanistan.
The 18-year-old soldiers boarding it in Helmand know only from a small brass plaque inside that this helicopter is a nearly decade older than they are - and it's still not ready for retirement.
Valiant veterans: A Chinook drops off British troops in Afghanistan
Bravo November - named after BN, its original identification tail number - is probably the most remarkable RAF aircraft of the last 30 years.
It won its first Distinguished Flying Cross for pilot Squadron Leader Dick Langworthy in May 1982, when it was only two months out of its packing crate at RAF Odiham, Hampshire.
It won its second DFC for pilot Sqn Ldr Steve Carr on the opening night of the Iraq War in 2003, and its third for pilot Flight Lieutenant Craig Wilson in Afghanistan in 2006.
Now officially known as ZA718, Bravo November still holds a world record for carrying the largest number of troops in a single flight.
'Bravo November is a hugely significant aeroplane to the RAF,' said retired Air Chief Marshal Sir Richard Johns when he opened an exhibition honouring it at the RAF Museum on the 25th anniversary of the Falklands war.
'The RAF almost never singles out individual aircraft for tribute. But Bravo November is exceptional.'
But is its survival just down to luck? Certainly it seems to have been lucky in the Falklands.
It was away on a flight test when an Argentine Exocet missile sank its transport ship, the Atlantic Conveyor, along with all four of the other Chinooks on board.
Bravo November went almost immediately into action after the first British troops landed on the Falklands, initially carrying 105mm guns to support SAS troops on Mount Kent who were under fire from Argentine artillery.
On a later mission it ran into a snowstorm on its way back to San Carlos Water. The crew's night-vision goggles failed and the helicopter crashed into the sea at 100 knots. Water poured over its cockpit and the two engines started to 'flame out'.
Service record: Bravo November during the Falklands War
But luck was with pilot Dick Langworthy and his co-pilot Andy Lawless. Their controls had been set to climb, and with the twin rotors flailing, the helicopter leapt into the air like a cork from a bottle.
Slightly damaged, and without spare parts or adequate lubricants, Bravo November managed to hold together for another vital two weeks, delivering troops and supplies wherever they were needed.
At one point Bravo November rushed into battle with 81 troops jammed inside. It was twice the normal maximum load - a feat that to this day stands as a record for a troop-carrying helicopter anywhere in the world.
By the time the Argentines surrendered, Bravo November had flown for 109 hours and carried 1,500 troops, 95 casualties, 550 prisoners of war and 550 tons of cargo.
It also served in Northern Ireland, Lebanon, Germany and Kurdistan.
At the start of the first Gulf War in 2003, Bravo November took the first Royal Marines on to the Al-Faw peninsula to seize vital oil-pumping facilities. Any one of the five Chinooks on that first British attack could have led the way.
But either by luck, coincidence or the scheming of RAF engineers, the lead commander, Sqn Ldr Steve Carr, found himself flying Bravo November.
Three years later, on the night of June 11, 2006, Flt Lt Craig Wilson was captain of Bravo November in Helmand when he was ordered to recover a casualty at a landing site.
Even though he had done little night flying in the country, he flew at 150ft, made a precision landing and recovered the casualty.
A few hours later he was back on another evacuation mission, although this time he was forced to delay his landing while an Apache gunship suppressed enemy fire.
After this, despite having been on duty for 22 hours, Flt Lt Wilson volunteered to deliver reinforcements to threatened troops. He brought back two wounded soldiers, saving their lives. His actions earned him the DFC - Bravo November's third.
Curiously - or out of concern for ending Bravo November's 'luck' - no mention of this award was made at the Falklands 25th anniversary the next year.
And today, after many months of deep maintenance back in England, Bravo November is back in Afghanistan quietly doing its job - several times narrowly dodging Taliban bullets and rocket-propelled grenades.
'It just always seems to be there when you need it,' said Wing Commander Andy Naismith, former commanding officer of Bravo November's 18 Squadron. 'It never lets us down.'
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Irony, I have found you.
Man killed by dogs after saving them from death
By REUTERS
|
LJUBLJANA, Slovenia - A Slovenian who saved his three dogs from being put down for attacking humans was himself mauled to death by them, police said on Wednesday.
“Three dogs bit their 52-year-old owner to death in Ljubljana yesterday,” police spokeswoman Maja Adlesic said.
Four years ago, the three bullmastiffs attacked and seriously injured a passer-by outside their owner’s house. They spent years in custody pending legal hearings, but when one of them attacked a dog handler, authorities ordered them to be put down.
Their owner, a doctor, succeeded last June in his legal appeals to get the dogs back, sparking a national controversy. After his death, an opposition party said the agriculture minister should resign for failing to stop the dogs being released.
The dogs attacked the man in his garden on Tuesday, killing him before the police arrived. All three dogs were put down following the attack.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Stupid is therule of the day
Written by Alex Teach
January 20, 2010 – 12:45 pm
Shortly after the close of World War II, the United States government began the practice of adding fluoride to public drinking water in an effort to reduce tooth decay, particularly in young children and the poor in general who experienced agony from such decay frequently and without the means of affording care for the relief of it. Cavities, it turns out, cost society more to treat than any other disease, and scientists globally regarded this practice as “a pretty good move”.
January 20, 2010 – 12:45 pm
Shortly after the close of World War II, the United States government began the practice of adding fluoride to public drinking water in an effort to reduce tooth decay, particularly in young children and the poor in general who experienced agony from such decay frequently and without the means of affording care for the relief of it. Cavities, it turns out, cost society more to treat than any other disease, and scientists globally regarded this practice as “a pretty good move”.
What they never counted on, however, was the adverse reaction fluoride has when put in contact with tinfoil.
Hats, specifically.
There have been conspiracies for as long as there have been stupid, insecure people on this planet (which scientists also concur has been “pretty much forever”), but this one is the Stupid Grandfather of the modern age. Fluoridation has been associated with pacifism, mind control, population control, the abandonment of civil liberties and as an imminent sign of total governmental control of the populace, in lieu of a Democratic “supermajority” in the Senate. (“The 2008 Elections” is a column for another day.)
2008. There are 5.8 million car crashes nationally. That is 5,800,000: A ridiculous number, particularly for those educated in the Hamilton County public school system. Of those, 1.6 million people were injured, and 34,017 were killed. As with the masses with rotted teeth wandering around holding their jaws and making a huge racket 62 years ago, the government again takes notice of this and decides a society cannot remain civilized with 34,017 dead folks scattered all about the place…so again, it acts.
The initial thought is to educate people with positively huge reflective signs directly on the roadsides dictating the recommended limit for speed (or “speed limit”), but for a large number (it took at least 2,900,000 people to hit the other 2,900,000), this proves ineffectual and other ideas are sought.
The second most popular idea is one occupied police car being assigned to each driver in order to monitor and regulate their speed, but this is deemed not just cost prohibitive, at $50,000 a pop with training, salary, and equipment, but with no small amount of irony it is also abandoned for fear of being misconstrued as an infringement of civil liberties.
A compromise was instituted in which one officer would regulate about 10,000 motorists on average, but the ratio of 1:10,000 people being regulated and ticketed was still leading to deaths in the tens of thousands. The government goes back to the drawing board, and this time, finds the answer in every bank, gas station, hotel, airport and cell phone in America: Cameras.
Americans go to hotels, gas stations, banks, airports, and many other places every hour of every day. They also complain to nine in ten officers pulling them over, “What about the real criminals out there? Don’t you have anything better to do?” Turns out, they do. So this marriage of ideas produces the Automated Ticketing System.
Fatalities in one section of Hixson Pike go from dozens to ZERO for more than two years now, addressing the scattered corpse issue directly.
People speeding in excess of 10 mph over the posted limits start receiving tickets by the bucket, with only one officer manning that ubiquitous White Van, and it doesn’t even add points to your driving record.
Costs of the cameras themselves are provided by the private sector, not taxpayers, and taxpayers don’t even have to cover the hideous costs of paying and training more police officers.
Then most unexpectedly (or was it?), the officers once assigned to sitting on the roadsides not catching “real criminals” are present in their communities, and a domino effect occurs in which response times to violent crimes goes down, and the number of property crimes begins falling in double digits in some areas.
Revenue generated from these tickets then goes towards once-abandoned driver-education programs (which, again, reduce crashes) and covers the cost of new police equipment for (you guessed it) further crime reduction actions.
The Government smiles. Then tilts its head in confusion.
The Stupid arrive with their nice teeth, and instead of joy at the wise use of tax dollars and reduction of dead folk, insurance rates, and crime in general…they complain. Automated ticket cameras from speed vans and red lights are associated with pacifism, mind control, population control, the abandonment of civil liberties and an imminent sign of total governmental control of the populace. (See why I told you that whole first story now? Clever, clever Officer Teach.)
Their right to privacy while driving on a public street is being infringed upon by a revenue generation system. (Think on this a second.)
I’m short on space, so I’ll just say this: There IS no privacy in the middle of a one- or six-lane roadway, Nimrod. It’s a ROADWAY. You can’t even drive a car without windows to hide yourself. You even have to have a picture of yourself on a card saying you’re allowed to drive there. Besides, if you said you did have an expectation of privacy in the middle of the street, besides being stupid, where is your moral outrage over the cameras you put yourself in front of in every aforementioned bank, gas station, hotel, and airport? It’s not there, because they are necessary and make sense. The difference is, you are upset on the roadways because you have been caught speeding by an unbiased scientific device.
As for revenue generation? Of course it is! So—what now, when a human catches you and you go to court, you shouldn’t be fined? All fines are wrong now? Or just the ones in which you have been caught? Again, where was the outrage before? Speeding and red light fines going to police equipment? “Duh!”
Your ever-present demands to see the radar gun and certification? They’re right there. The red light cameras? Video is now awaiting you in the courtroom, every time.
When an officer caught you, it was a “trap”. He lied about you running the sign or the light, and the judge took his word over yours. Now you’re on video…so it’s “unconstitutional”.
The Constitution doesn’t give you a right to speed, folks. It doesn’t even give you a reasonable expectation of privacy on the public roadways. I checked.
But, “Stupid” is the rule of the day, so you’ll probably win. We’ll take those officers back out of your neighborhoods, and go back on the side of the roadways. We’ll let the bodies pile up in the S-curves, and property crimes increase like your property taxes to hire more officers to address the rising crime again.
All those government-based shiny teeth, all those savings of money and lives, but no one smiles for the camera.
You win.
Right?
When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he is an occasional student at UTC, an up and coming carpenter, auto mechanic, prominent boating enthusiast, and spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
The difference between guts and balls
Guts - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"
Balls - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say - "You're next fatty."
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Las Vegas
I just returned from a week long business trip to Las Vegas. I stayed in the Stratosphere Hotel, on the 18th floor. Right outside my window was the Stratosphere Tower, all 109 stories of it. It was really cool to go up in it to the top; even the tall Vegas buildings looked short when you get to the top. I played the slots, got up a hundred bucks, and then quit when I started losing my ass and broke even.
But...all things considered, this was a trip the I probably should not have taken.
But...all things considered, this was a trip the I probably should not have taken.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Police Harassment
Recently, the Chula Vista Police Department ran an e-mail forum (a question and answer exchange) with the topic being, "Community Policing."
One of the civilian email participants posed the following question, "I would like to know how it is possible for police officers to continually harass people and get away with it?"
From the "other side" (the law enforcement side) Sgt. Bennett, obviously a cop with a sense of humor replied:
"First of all, let me tell you this...it's not easy. In Chula Vista, we average one cop for every 600 people. Only about 60% of those cops are on general duty (or what you might refer to as "patrol") where we do most of our harassing.
The rest are in non-harassing departments that do not allow them contact with the day to day innocents. And at any given moment, only one-fifth of the 60% patrollers are on duty and available for harassing people while the rest are off duty. So roughly, one cop is responsible for harassing about 5,000 residents.
When you toss in the commercial business, and tourist locations that attract people from other areas, sometimes you have a situation where a single cop is responsible for harassing 10,000 or more people a day.
Now, your average ten-hour shift runs 36,000 seconds long. This gives a cop one second to harass a person, and then only three-fourths of a second to eat a donut AND then find a new person to harass. This is not an easy task. To be honest, most cops are not up to this challenge day in and day out. It is just too tiring. What we do is utilize some tools to help us narrow down those people which we can realistically harass.
The tools available to us are as follows:
PHONE: People will call us up and point out things that cause us to focus on a person for special harassment. "My neighbor is beating his wife" is a code phrase used often. This means we'll come out and give somebody some special harassment.
Another popular one is, "There's a guy breaking into a house." The harassment team is then put into action.
CARS: We have special cops assigned to harass people who drive. They like to harass the drivers of fast cars, cars with no insurance or no driver's licenses and the like.. It's lots of fun when you pick them out of traffic for nothing more obvious than running a red light. Sometimes you get to really heap the harassment on when you find they have drugs in the car, they are drunk, or have an outstanding warrant on file.
RUNNERS: Some people take off running just at the sight of a police officer. Nothing is quite as satisfying as running after them like a beagle on the scent of a bunny. When you catch them you can harass them for hours.
STATUTES: When we don't have PHONES or CARS and have nothing better to do, there are actually books that give us ideas for reasons to harass folks. They are called "Statutes"; Criminal Codes, Motor Vehicle Codes, etc... They all spell out all sorts of things for which you can really
mess with people.
After you read the statute, you can just drive around for awhile until you find someone violating one of these listed offenses and harass them. Just last week I saw a guy trying to steal a car. Well, there's this book we have that says that's not allowed. That meant I got permission to harass this guy. It is a really cool system that we have set up, and it works pretty well.
We seem to have a never-ending supply of folks to harass. And we get away with it. Why? Because for the good citizens who pay the tab, we try to keep the streets safe for them, and they pay us to "harass" some people.
Next time you are in my town, give me the old "single finger wave." That's another one of those codes. It means, "You can't harass me."
It's one of our favorites.
One of the civilian email participants posed the following question, "I would like to know how it is possible for police officers to continually harass people and get away with it?"
From the "other side" (the law enforcement side) Sgt. Bennett, obviously a cop with a sense of humor replied:
"First of all, let me tell you this...it's not easy. In Chula Vista, we average one cop for every 600 people. Only about 60% of those cops are on general duty (or what you might refer to as "patrol") where we do most of our harassing.
The rest are in non-harassing departments that do not allow them contact with the day to day innocents. And at any given moment, only one-fifth of the 60% patrollers are on duty and available for harassing people while the rest are off duty. So roughly, one cop is responsible for harassing about 5,000 residents.
When you toss in the commercial business, and tourist locations that attract people from other areas, sometimes you have a situation where a single cop is responsible for harassing 10,000 or more people a day.
Now, your average ten-hour shift runs 36,000 seconds long. This gives a cop one second to harass a person, and then only three-fourths of a second to eat a donut AND then find a new person to harass. This is not an easy task. To be honest, most cops are not up to this challenge day in and day out. It is just too tiring. What we do is utilize some tools to help us narrow down those people which we can realistically harass.
The tools available to us are as follows:
PHONE: People will call us up and point out things that cause us to focus on a person for special harassment. "My neighbor is beating his wife" is a code phrase used often. This means we'll come out and give somebody some special harassment.
Another popular one is, "There's a guy breaking into a house." The harassment team is then put into action.
CARS: We have special cops assigned to harass people who drive. They like to harass the drivers of fast cars, cars with no insurance or no driver's licenses and the like.. It's lots of fun when you pick them out of traffic for nothing more obvious than running a red light. Sometimes you get to really heap the harassment on when you find they have drugs in the car, they are drunk, or have an outstanding warrant on file.
RUNNERS: Some people take off running just at the sight of a police officer. Nothing is quite as satisfying as running after them like a beagle on the scent of a bunny. When you catch them you can harass them for hours.
STATUTES: When we don't have PHONES or CARS and have nothing better to do, there are actually books that give us ideas for reasons to harass folks. They are called "Statutes"; Criminal Codes, Motor Vehicle Codes, etc... They all spell out all sorts of things for which you can really
mess with people.
After you read the statute, you can just drive around for awhile until you find someone violating one of these listed offenses and harass them. Just last week I saw a guy trying to steal a car. Well, there's this book we have that says that's not allowed. That meant I got permission to harass this guy. It is a really cool system that we have set up, and it works pretty well.
We seem to have a never-ending supply of folks to harass. And we get away with it. Why? Because for the good citizens who pay the tab, we try to keep the streets safe for them, and they pay us to "harass" some people.
Next time you are in my town, give me the old "single finger wave." That's another one of those codes. It means, "You can't harass me."
It's one of our favorites.
Saturday, December 05, 2009
Wii Wheee
On a whim, I decided to buy a Nintendo Wii, and all I have to say is that the technology involved is absolutely amazing. The motion sensors, detectors, ability to access the internet wirelessly...wow. Of course, the Wii has been out for three years, but it is just fascinating how it works.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
The juicer...the juice man...the ayatollah juicerola...
I was looking at my blog and noticed that I'd gotten away from doing posts about normal, everyday life. I had started this blog years ago with posts about goings-on in my everyday life, and it gradually shifted towards a soapbox or just a repeating of neat things I found on the Internet. So...I guess I'm going to try to do more personal posts, providing a nice mixture of things.
I recently purchased a nice juicer from Newegg. It was a refurbished unit, and the cost was 25 bucks with free shipping. I thought I'd give it a shot, and I must say that my first attempt was a pleasant surprise. I juiced some lemons for lemonade. The instructions say to not use the rind because of the potential of adding a bad flavor to the juice, but I found that the rind enhanced the flavor of the lemonade. I then juiced some apples, which tasted as good as any apple juice you can buy in a store. Ditto for the pear that I juiced. I then combined the apple and pear juice and enjoyed a refreshing cocktail. There is one major downside to juicing your own fruit juice: It is actually cheaper to just buy juice than to make your own (it took four apples and one pear to equal one glass of juice). I'm looking forward to trying to juice other stuff, including making my own vegetable juice.
I recently purchased a nice juicer from Newegg. It was a refurbished unit, and the cost was 25 bucks with free shipping. I thought I'd give it a shot, and I must say that my first attempt was a pleasant surprise. I juiced some lemons for lemonade. The instructions say to not use the rind because of the potential of adding a bad flavor to the juice, but I found that the rind enhanced the flavor of the lemonade. I then juiced some apples, which tasted as good as any apple juice you can buy in a store. Ditto for the pear that I juiced. I then combined the apple and pear juice and enjoyed a refreshing cocktail. There is one major downside to juicing your own fruit juice: It is actually cheaper to just buy juice than to make your own (it took four apples and one pear to equal one glass of juice). I'm looking forward to trying to juice other stuff, including making my own vegetable juice.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
John Allen Muhammad is dead
Rot in hell, you Muslim douchebag. I hope you spend an eternity eating pork rinds and getting buttfucked by Mohammed.
Sunday, November 08, 2009
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Our broken government
To all 535 voting members of the Legislature, It is now official you are ALL corrupt morons:
• The U.S. Post Service was established in 1775. You have had 234 years to get it right and it is broke.
•
• Social Security was established in 1935. You have had 74 years to get it right and it is broke.
•
• Fannie Mae was established in 1938. You have had 71 years to get it right and it is broke.
•
• War on Poverty started in 1964. You have had 45 years to get it right; $1 trillion of our money is confiscated each year and transferred to "the poor" and they are still poor.
•
• Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965. You have had 44 years to get it right and they are broke.
• Freddie Mac was established in 1970. You have had 39 years to get it right and it is broke.
• The Department of Energy was created in 1977 to lessen our dependence on foreign oil. It has ballooned to 16,000 employees with a budget of $24 billion a year and we import more oil than ever before. You had 32 years to get it right and it is an abysmal failure.
•
You have FAILED in every "Government Service" you have shoved down our throats
while overspending our tax dollars:
AND YOU WANT AMERICANS TO BELIEVE YOU CAN BE TRUSTED
WITH A GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTH CARE SYSTEM??
Monday, October 26, 2009
The husband store
A store that sells husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow!' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous , Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are fucking impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow!' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous , Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are fucking impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Lie Detector
John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmicks.
His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change.
One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector.
It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late.
"Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?" asked John..
"Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project," said Tommy.
The robot walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair.
"Son," said John, "this robot is a lie detector, now tell us
where you really were after school."
"We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie." said Tommy.
"What did you watch?" asked Marsha.
"The Ten Commandments." answered Tommy.
The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair.
With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, "I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called Sex Queen."
"I am ashamed of you son," said John.. "When I was your age, I never lied to my parents."
The robot walked around to John and delivered a whack that nearly knocked him out of his chair.
Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, "Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!"
The robot walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair.
His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change.
One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector.
It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late.
"Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?" asked John..
"Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project," said Tommy.
The robot walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair.
"Son," said John, "this robot is a lie detector, now tell us
where you really were after school."
"We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie." said Tommy.
"What did you watch?" asked Marsha.
"The Ten Commandments." answered Tommy.
The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair.
With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, "I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called Sex Queen."
"I am ashamed of you son," said John.. "When I was your age, I never lied to my parents."
The robot walked around to John and delivered a whack that nearly knocked him out of his chair.
Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, "Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!"
The robot walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Click the link
Click the above link:
And try to see if you can stare at it for more than 30 seconds without having a seizure or puking.
And try to see if you can stare at it for more than 30 seconds without having a seizure or puking.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Your whole life is a test
I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me ... it was her beautiful younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was braless. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a pleasant view. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day "little" sister called and asked me to go over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test.....we couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to our family!!!"
And the moral of this story is :
Always keep your condoms in your car ...
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was braless. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a pleasant view. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day "little" sister called and asked me to go over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test.....we couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to our family!!!"
And the moral of this story is :
Always keep your condoms in your car ...
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Joining PETA
I found this in a comments section of Fark.com that pretty much explains (to me) what kind of people join PETA.
There's basically four types of people who join PETA:
1. Washed up movies stars and musicians trying desperately to remain relevant (e.g. Pamela Anderson, the GoGo's, etc.)
2. Insecure, socially awkward girls trying desperately to become relevant
3. Overly-sensitive, insecure guys trying to get laid by the insecure, socially awkward girls
4. Otherwise decent, socially responsible people who respond to emotional manipulation with knee-jerk reactions without bothering to first check out the facts
There's basically four types of people who join PETA:
1. Washed up movies stars and musicians trying desperately to remain relevant (e.g. Pamela Anderson, the GoGo's, etc.)
2. Insecure, socially awkward girls trying desperately to become relevant
3. Overly-sensitive, insecure guys trying to get laid by the insecure, socially awkward girls
4. Otherwise decent, socially responsible people who respond to emotional manipulation with knee-jerk reactions without bothering to first check out the facts
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Truth in prayer
A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers, which she ended by saying "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma, and good-bye Grandpa." Father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?". The little girl said "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do." The next day Grandpa died. Father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this; "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma." Next day the grandmother died. My gosh, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side. Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say "God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy." He practically went into shock. Couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be OK. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?" He said, "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life." She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning the mailman dropped dead on our porch."
Monday, October 05, 2009
Conservative versus Liberal
If a conservative doesn’t like guns, they don’t buy one. If a liberal doesn’t like guns, then no one should have one.
If a conservative is a vegetarian, they don’t eat meat. If a liberal is, they want to ban all meat products for everyone.
If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy. A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.
If a conservative is homosexual, they quietly enjoy their life. If a liberal is homosexual, they loudly demand legislated respect.
If a black man or Hispanic is conservative, they see themselves as independently successful. Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.
If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels. Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church. A liberal wants any mention of God or religion silenced.
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it. A liberal demands that his neighbors pay for his.
If a conservative is a vegetarian, they don’t eat meat. If a liberal is, they want to ban all meat products for everyone.
If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy. A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.
If a conservative is homosexual, they quietly enjoy their life. If a liberal is homosexual, they loudly demand legislated respect.
If a black man or Hispanic is conservative, they see themselves as independently successful. Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.
If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels. Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church. A liberal wants any mention of God or religion silenced.
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it. A liberal demands that his neighbors pay for his.
Friday, October 02, 2009
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