Joke

Son (S) : Why is making love so enjoyable.
Father (F) : It is just like the sensation when you are digging your nose with your finger !!

S : Why do women enjoy sex more than man
F : It is because when you dig your nose, your nose feels more comfort than your finger.

S: Why do women hate it when they get raped .
F: It is like when you are walking on the street,someone else come over and dig your nose, do you like it ??

S: Why woman cannot have sex when they are having menstruation?
F: If your nose is bleeding, do you still dig it ??

S: Why man do not like to wear condoms when they are making love.
F: Do you like to dig your nose with a glove on your finger.

S: Why are making love carried out in private?
F: Will you dig you nose in front of your class? Stupid!

S: What is an orgasm ?
F:The same as sneezing. but the the other way round

S: Is it true that women love big dicks ?
F: Ever tried picking your nose with your thumb ?

S: What's anal sex?
F: Picking your mouth

Stupid bitch, part II

Her last statement is proof that she is a dumb, ignorant, clueless bitch.


Officer.com News

The Mayor of Wellford, S.C. has agreed to reverse her recent, controversial policy banning police from chasing suspects, according to WTKR-TV3.

Mayor Sallie Peake instituted the policy earlier this month on the grounds that several officers have been injured during chases, driving up insurance costs for the town.

The reversal was made in response to a letter from the town solicitor stating that the policy conflicted with officers' sworn duty to uphold the law by preventing them from pursuing fleeing felons.

Peake told the news station that she is not happy about resuming chases, but now, "Officers can do whatever they want."

Rendezvous

This is worth watching just to hear the engine! The story is that this guy did this one morning in Paris without any permits or blocked roadways.





"The film was done without tricks or speeding-up." On an August morning in 1978, French filmmaker Claude Lelouch ("A Man and a Woman") mounted a gyro-stabilized camera to the bumper of a Mercedes and drove at breakneck speed through the heart of Paris. The film was limited for technical reasons to 10 minutes; the course was from Porte Dauphine, through the Louvre, to the Basilica of Sacre Coeur. No streets were closed, for Lelouch was unable to obtain a permit. The driver completed the course in about 9 minutes, reaching nearly 140 MPH in some stretches. The footage reveals him running real red lights, nearly hitting real pedestrians, and driving the wrong way up real one-way streets. Upon showing the film in public for the first time, Lelouch was arrested. He has never revealed the identity of the driver, and the film went underground until it was released a few years ago. Lelouch explained that he used a Mercedes-Benz 450SEL 6.9 to have enough stability while filming, but used the sound of a Ferrari 275 GTB for the soundtrack.

Ummm...What?!?

Animal-cruelty charges dropped against Burlington County cop

By JASON NARK
Philadelphia Daily News

narkj@phillynews.com 856-779-3231

If animals could talk, a few cows in Burlington County might ask state legislators to hurry up and outlaw bestiality.

During a bizarre hearing there yesterday, a Superior Court judge dismissed animal-cruelty charges against a Moorestown police officer accused of sticking his penis into the mouths of five calves in rural Southampton in 2006, claiming a grand jury couldn't infer whether the cows had been "tormented" or "puzzled" by the situation or even irritated that they'd been duped out of a meal.

"If the cow had the cognitive ability to form thought and speak, would it say, 'Where's the milk? I'm not getting any milk,' " Judge James J. Morley asked.

Children, Morley said, seemed "comforted" when given pacifiers, but there's no way to know what bovine minds thought of Robert Melia Jr. substituting his member for a cow's teat.

"They [children] enjoy the act of suckling," the judge said. "Cows may be of a different disposition."

Burlington County Assistant County Prosecutor Kevin Morgan was certainly irritated by the ruling, claiming the grand jury didn't see the videos of the alleged incident, including one in which one hungry calf allegedly head-butts Melia in the stomach.

"I think any reasonable juror could infer that a man's penis in the mouth of a calf is torment," Morgan argued. "It's a crime against nature."

Although a bill was introduced in 2005 to ban bestiality, New Jersey still has no explicit ban on the sexual penetration of animals, which is why the Burlington County Prosecutor's Office charged Melia with animal cruelty.

Morley said it was questionable whether Melia's alleged crimes against cows, although "disgusting," fit the definitions in the animal-cruelty statute.

"I'm not saying it's OK," Morley said. "This is a legal question for me. It's not a questions of morals. It's not a question of hygiene. It's not a question of how people should conduct themselves."

Sex with cows is the least of Melia's problems, though.

He and former girlfriend, Heather Lewis, of Pemberton Township, are also accused of sexually assaulting three young girls over a five-year period, sometimes in Melia's Cottage Avenue home in Moorestown, where he was a patrolman, authorities said.

Melia has been suspended from the force, said a spokesman with the Prosecutor's Office.

Melia and Lewis were both arrested in April 2008, shortly after one of the girls told her stepfather of the alleged abuse.

During the course of the investigation, authorities also discovered child pornography on Melia's home computer as well as videos of him with the cows.

Morley also ruled yesterday that the prosecution must turn over copies of images and videos from the computer to the defense, including one video that allegedly shows one of the girls being "subjected to sexual activity."

Lewis, who also appeared in court yesterday, is also accused of sexually assaulting a juvenile male. Morley denied a defense motion to have Lewis's individual sexual assaults separated from Melia's case.

Melia, Lewis and their attorneys declined to comment after the hearing.

Morgan, the prosecutor, said in court that the owner of the cows was "very upset" by the incident.

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second Mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." He turned to the third Mom. "Your obsession is alcohol. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy." At this point, the fourth mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go."

Downfall of Grammar

All of these scenes from the movie Downfall are a hoot. Here is another good one:

Mayor Sally Peake: What a Stupid Bitch.

Chris Cato
Published: September 18, 2009

Updated September 18, 2009

(Wellford, SC)—The Mayor of Wellford is defending her policy which bans police officers in that city from chasing suspects. Sallie Peake says the policy also includes vehicle chases along with pursuits on foot.

A memo issued on September 2nd from Peake to all Wellford officers reads:

“As of this date, there are to be no more foot chases when a suspect runs. I do not want anyone chasing after any suspects whatsoever.“

WSPA first reported the mandate on Wednesday after an anonymous citizen faxed a copy of the memo to our newsroom. Peake was out of town and unavailable for comment. On Friday, reporter Chris Cato caught up with her in her office and questioned her about the origin of the policy. Peake says she issued the mandate because several officers have been injured during chases, driving up insurance costs for the town.

“The officers are costing us more money on insurance than most citizens here in the city of Wellford are even earning,“ says Peake.

She says the city is paying out $20,000 annually in workers’ compensation claims, much of it due to the police force. In July, two officers wrecked their cruisers while chasing suspects and had to go to the hospital for minor treatment. The police chief says three officers have been injured during foot chases in the last two years.

Spartanburg County Sheriff Chuck Wright says the policy prevents police from upholding the law—a direct violation of their constitutional oath.

“If a bank robber or a drunk driver or a shoplifter or somebody with a warrant runs on foot, it’s our obligation to do what we can do to bring them to justice,“ says Wright.

But when we asked Peake about her order impeding an officer from stopping a crime in progress, she became defensive and irate. The conversation went as follows:

Reporter: “Are you telling your officers if they witness a crime - they witness someone commit a crime on someone else and they’re ten yards away - they can’t go stop that person?“
Peake: “Is that in there?“ (referring to policy)
Reporter: “It says no chases whatsoever.“
Peake: “Well, that’s what I said, no chases, didn’t I? I didn’t say nothing about a crime. If you see a crime, this that and the other -“
Reporter: “Well, that’s what a chase is - “
Peake: “Well, I told them no chase on foot, and (the police chief) know exactly what I mean, so you’re trying to twist what I -“
Reporter: “No, I’m not. You said no chases. No chases means no chases.“
Peake: (claps hands) “You got you a story, thank God! You are so sweet! You got you a story on a woman in Wellford! Hallelujah! I’m so proud of you, Mr. Cato!“

Click here to see the entire interview.

Wellford Police Chief Chris Guy has told his officers to abide by the policy. He says they can still protect the public.

“Just because a suspect may run does not mean we can’t identify them, sign warrants, and catch them later,“ says Guy.

But Sheriff Wright says when a suspect gets away, there is always the chance he could hurt someone before officers catch up with him.

Peake says that won’t happen in Wellford.

Here’s hoping the arm of the law really is long.

Posted September 9, 2009

The mayor of an Upstate city has issued an order that may handcuff her police officers and put citizens at risk, according to some.

News Channel 7 received a fax from an anonymous person identifying themself as “a concerned Wellford citizen”. Included was a memo written by Wellford Mayor Sallie Peake, addressed to all city police officers. Dated September 2, 2009, it reads:

“As of this date, there are to be no more foot chases when a suspect runs. I do not want anyone chasing after any suspects whatsoever.“

We have not been able to reach Peake for comment. The city clerk tells us the Mayor is out of town on vacation and is unreachable.

Wellford Police Chief Chris Guy confirmed the memo was legitimate. He says he has told his officers to abide by the order until he can sit down with Peake and talk about it.

“This came about because an officer twisted his ankle while chasing a suspect a couple of weeks ago,“ said Chief Guy.

He said he could not comment further until he has talked with Peake about how the policy will affect his officers’ abilities to perform their duties.

For an outside opinion, we went to Spartanburg County Sheriff Chuck Wright.

“I’ve never seen a memo like that before, telling your police officers not to do their job,“ said Wright. “That’s strange.“

Wright says Peake has essentiall handcuffed her officers.

“If a bank robber or a drunk driver or a shoplifter or somebody with a warrant runs on foot, it’s our obligation to do what we can do to bring them to justice,“ says Wright.

He says the memo may actually be illegal because it directly conflicts with a police officer’s constitutional oath to uphold the law. And he says while it may protect officers from injury, it may also put citizens at risk.

“If you’ve got somebody that’s running from the police, whose to say they won’t break into your home to get away from law enforcement?“ said Wright.

He said he is going to ask State Law Enforcement Division if the memo is legal. In the meantime, he says he will add patrols to the Wellford area in case officers need help catching suspects who decide to run.

We will continue following this story and get answers from Mayor Sallie Peake.

She's a MILF, but WTF???

WATERFORD TWP., Mich. (WXYZ) - A woman who gave her son up for adoption 10 years ago is now accused of having sex with the teen after finding him on the internet.

Aimee Louise Sword, 35 of Waterford Township, has been charged with third-degree criminal sexual conduct in the case.

Investigators say she used the internet to find her biological son.

Sword was arrested after Child Protective Services informed police of the sex accusations.

The woman's lawyer says she maintains her innocence. She is currently free on bond.

There are only eleven times in history where the "F" word has been
considered acceptable for use, as follows:

11. "What the @#$% do you mean we're sinking?"

-- Capt. E.J. Smith of the RMS Titanic, 1912

10. "What the @#$% was that?" -- Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945

9. "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?"
-- George Armstrong Custer, 1877

8. "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that." -- Einstein, 1938

7. "It does so @#$%ing look like her!" -- Picasso, 1926

6. "How the @#$% did you work that out?" -- Pythagoras, 126 BC

5. "You want WHAT on that @#$%ing ceiling?" -- Michelangelo, 1566

4. "Where the @#$% are we?" -- Amelia Earhart, 1937

3. "Scattered @#$%ing showers....my ass!" -- Noah, 6314 BC

2. "Aw c'mon. Who the @#$% is going to find out?"
-- Bill Clinton, 1999

1. "Geez, I didn't think they'd get this @%#*^ing mad!"
-- Saddam Hussein, 2003